The Cleanest House

"If you've come to see me, come anytime.

If you've come to see my house, make an appointment."

Once upon a time, in a city far, far away, I lived in a three bedroom house with just my Prince Charming and I.

And the house was kept clean. (Well, mostly.)

Then, a stork brought a little bundle of joy, and our two income household was able to afford a housekeeper once a month so I could play with my Munchkin instead of clean the toilets.

And the house was kept clean. (Well, sort of.)

Then, the stork brought another bundle of joy, the Prince moved his family to a new house, and the housekeeper and second income went away.

And the house was kept... well, like this:

Okay. So it's not always like this. But this was 10 am on a Tuesday morning, and I swear, the house had been picked up the night before. Before you get eye strain trying to figure out exactly what is going on in the poorly lit picture above, let me enlighten you:

Just that morning, Auntie Ginger had left after her visit. (This is how I know the house had been picked up the night before... we had company for goodness sakes!). The green blob on the couch are sheets from Auntie Ginger's bed. They hadn't quite made it to the laundry in the garage.

The mess on the coffee table is Gracie's stuffed animal "Duck", and the crayons and coloring pad Auntie and Grace used to color together.

The multi-colored blobs on the floor are from the new toy that Auntie got Mark, and Gracie hijacked and opened that morning. (The box from the toy is the white blob on the floor by the coffee table.)

The shoes are Prince Charming's. He did not place them there - his littlest princess did. After all, her fascination with shoes began at a very early age. These shoes have lots of velcro that are noisy and easy to open. And so, they take their place in the middle of the walkway to the living room.

The clothing in front of the couch is the freshly washed load that was brought in just minutes prior to the picture being taken, and had been thrown from the couch onto the floor by the little girl in the picture who is trying to look innocent, but is actually the cause of all this disaster.

(No, she has no pants on... just a diaper. But that is another story, and not relevant to this post, since she somehow managed not to throw the pants into the middle of the living room too - not that anyone would have noticed if she had.)

Finally, the purple Tinkerbell chair and large round bouncer are used to corral the young royals when needed. They are sometimes moved to other rooms, but alas, they do indeed tend to live in this one.

Just three hours later, the royals were napping in their beds, and I worked to get the room back into shape. When finished, it looked like this:

And the house was kept clean. (Well, sometimes.)