Monday, September 20, 2010

What is a SAHM?

A Seasoned Chef
Today I ate cold macaroni and cheese for lunch.

I ate it straight from the pot.

With the serving spoon.

While standing at the stove.

And it was 2:15 in the afternoon.

I'm trying to tone down the glamour here, lest all the working moms read this and decide that they too want to stay home with their kids so they can participate in this kind of excitement.

I assure you, when I was a working mom, I never got to do any of the fun stuff I do now that I'm a SAHM. I thought that SAHM stood for Stay At Home Mom. Now I'm not so sure.

SAHM: Sometimes Allowed Hot Meals.

The Perfect Hostess
You know how SAHMs always offer you a "refreshment" when you come to visit? It's not because they are concerned about your parched palate. SAHMs ask people to have a seat and offer them a drink in the hopes visitors will get up to use the bathroom and quarters will fall out of their pockets.

It's the only way we get paid.

If you've read my prior post "The Cleanest House", you may have noticed I have slipcovers on the couches. This makes it easier for SAHMs to get paid. Last time I checked the couches, I only found three crayons and the missing nose to Mrs. Potato Head. Very disappointing.

SAHM: Searching About, Hoping for Money.

Midnight Mommy
If you are a Stay At Home Mom, there is a good chance that a man in your life works outside the home to bring in enough money to cover the expenses that your couch hunting skills don't. This means that when a child is sick, teething, wetting the bed, sleepwalking, or up in the middle of the night for any reason, you are the Go-To-Girl.

SAHM: Sleep About Half as Much.

Always There
Don't get me wrong - I love being a Stay At Home Mom. I saw Mark roll over for the first time. I saw Gracie draw her first circle as we colored together. I saw her dance with delight as she discovered the water hose this summer. I see my kids discovering, learning, and growing every day...

SAHM: Sees All the Happy Moments.

Or is that Seize All the Happy Moments?


Deanne said...

Love your reinvented acronyms! they made me smile. :)

I may need to invest in some couch covers......this is what I found the last time I did a deep-clean of our couch.

jcaton said...

You're so clever, this one was really cute. Keep them coming, especially the darling pictures!

Tracey said...

Brilliant as always. Really. How clever. Did you think this up all by your sleep-deprived self? :)

Jennifer said...

What a great post! So cute!

Mandi Miller said...

This is such a cute post!! I love it!

Sunshine SAHM said...

Thanks so much for all the kind comments! Yes, I thought these up all by myself. Can you imagine what I could do on a full nights' sleep? Leap tall buildings in a single bound (or at least get the kitchen floor clean).
If only I'd known what I was really in for when I decided to be a SAHM...

Esther said...

Fun read Jen!