Ten Things I Forgot to Thank My Father For

Awww... you didn't think I could thank mom for all her sacrifices without thinking of some of the crazy stuff we put dad through did you?

Two really good lookin' people who were
destined to have really good lookin' kids.
And grandkids.

My parents have been married for over 35 years. They either love each other very much, or couldn't stand the thought of having to start over and raise more children. Since I'm an optimist, I'm going to believe it's the former. Dad was there right alongside mom, teaching and working to make sure my sister and I learned  how to be confident and independent - and not living at home for the rest of our lives.

Unlike moms, dads have a different kind of responsibility toward their children. Let's face it, if the kids don't bathe for a week and they break a fingernail or two before they learn to chew them off... would dad really care?

Fathers have a high tolerance for things mothers don't. That tolerance is what helps them teach their children about the great outdoors when camping for a week with no showers in sight. Nobody ever died of a little bug bite, and a bloody mess that leaves a scar but doesn't kill you "builds character". Dads know how to do "stuff". They fix things, build things, and jump in alongside you as if they too were nine years old. Dads deserve their own kind of thanks for the things we've forgotten.

Dad, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for:

1) Waking me up for school every morning. I now realize you probably dreaded waking me up more than I dreaded getting up. The cold water in the spray bottle though? That was genius.

"Like this Daddy. Good job!"

2) Yelling "Quit splashing!" and "I'd better not see water all over the floor in there!" Instead of just cutting bathtime from 30 minutes to three. You knew we were having fun. You also knew we were still going to get the floor sopping wet, no matter how much yelling was involved.

3) Going with me to the police station to take a bike safety class. And not being angry that I was required to attend because I got a "ticket" for riding on the wrong side of the street. Oh, and for letting me ride my bike all over town in the first place, even if mom wasn't so keen on the idea.

"...and if you turn the hose on really slow,
in the morning you'll have icicles."

4) Hanging the Christmas tree lights every year, inside and outside. Also, thanks for finding that one light that had burnt out. Thank goodness those are now "the good 'ol days".

I loved the icicles we had on our house in Florida. Sure, we knew you'd climbed up there with the water hose in order to get the icicles to form, but now I realize it was an extra effort you took just for the enjoyment of your family. (And trust me, I'm still talking about it three decades later - it was really fun.)

5) Teaching me to drive. (A stick shift no less!) I don't remember being traumatized or even scared when I got behind the wheel. I do remember the "mall cop" stopping us and asking what we were doing. I guess driving in circles in the parking lot at 9 pm on Sundays was a bit unusual back then.

"Daddy would never get this done
without my help!"

6) Teaching me the difference between a pipe wrench, adjustable wrench and socket wrench. You always let me "help" you do the jobs around the house, yard and in the garage. I learned a lot as you patiently taught me tasks that must have taken twice as long to complete when I was at your side.

7) Making me practice changing the tire on my car before letting me drive across the country. Oh, and showing me how to jump start a car. I wish I could remember what you taught me...

8) Letting me drive across the country. I still love traveling, and driving out to school in Wisconsin, on to New  York, down to Florida, and back home again holds many fond memories for me. I don't yet know what it's like to send your kid down the road with a spare tire and full tank of gas, but I can't imagine it was easy. Thanks for teaching me what I needed to know, and trusting me to use it.

9) Teaching me to respect my elders. Thanks for giving me a "dressing down" when I spoke badly about Grandpa, even though I know he drove you crazy too. Respect, loyalty and compassion were all traits you taught, not just through words, but through actions.

"Grandpa, Gracie says baseball games and camping
isn't just for boys. What do you think? Should
we let her in the club?"

10) Hiking up mountains, taking me to baseball games, camping for a week, and doing other things mom would rather not. I'd play outdoors all day and have a nice warm fire, dinner from a can, and s'mores when we got back to camp. Climbing Half Dome in Yosemite was by far the coolest hike we ever did. I still tell stories about that trip. (And my head swells with pride at the accomplishment - which would never have happened without your determination to get us to the top!)

The rules to baseball were explained over and over, and hot dogs and sodas accompanied my cousins and I as we watched our team play. I even remember playing baseball outside on Christmas day, and getting hit in the head with a baseball while sliding into home base... now we know what's wrong with me.

Kim and I still laugh about our trip into the Everglades. Only a dad would take his two girls primitive camping with "barking" alligators lurking about in the middle of the night! I love remembering the time we spent together. Those memories would never have happened if you'd left it up to mom!

Thanks dad, for everything.

Ten Things I Forgot to Thank My Mother For

As the saying goes,

"You don't know what you've got until you're the one having to do it all yourself."

Well, something like that anyway. Over the past few weeks, the holidays have kept us pretty busy here in the Sunshine household. Despite all the extra hubbing and bubbing, there are certain tasks that continue to be done regardless of how crazy life gets. Most of the time, those tasks fall to me. Which got me to thinking...

Who did this before I came along?

Me and Mom.  If I manage to do half as good a job
as she did, I'd count myself blessed.

My mother. Of course.

To start the new year off right, I'm going to send out a shout of thanks for some of the tasks she performed tirelessly. Although if I'm any indication, maybe "tirelessly" is not the word... maybe more like "exhaustedly but out of love" is more appropriate.

Oh - and just to be clear - this isn't the whole Hallmark, mushy, I love you because you're wonderful and taught me that going out in my pajamas is not okay, even if it is just Walmart. No, this list is for the things that are forgotten. Overlooked because I was either too young to notice, or because they are taken for granted every day. So here goes:

Mother, thank you from the bottom of my heart for:

1) Potty Training. Wow. I cannot imagine what my life would be if you had chosen to simply skip this step. Or not clean up any accidents I may have had. (Although I didn't, right? Have accidents? 'Cause I was the perfect child. Right? Mom??)

2) Wrapping all the Christmas gifts. Especially the funky shaped ones - since gift bags had yet to be invented. I still remember some pretty awesome squishy gifts wrapped rather creatively in paper. Kudos for the effort. There's nothing quite as fun as shredding up paper and ending with a toy.

3) Clipping my fingernails. And toenails. For YEARS. I actually remember you clipping my fingernails as a child. I just had no idea you'd done it every week since the day I was born...

"Hey mom! This sure is fun, isn't it?"

4) Pushing me on the swingset. Incessantly. I now realize that it was not quite as much fun for you as it was for me.

5) Washing my sheets. Magically, fresh linens would appear on my bed regularly throughout my childhood, with no one around to witness the incredible feat. Unlike the doctor's office, where they simply grab the tissue paper covering, roll a fresh sheet over the table and toss the used section, my sheets were made of fabric. You actually washed, dryed and replaced my sheets. Endlessly.

6) Brushing my hair. Oh, and not chopping it off when I got gum stuck in it. Twice. Also for letting it grow long even though I would end up with "rat's nests" at the nape of my neck every morning. I loved my long hair and pigtails, even if they were a little lopsided from time to time because of all my wiggling while you were attempting to wrangle that little elastic band over my tresses.

"I'm going to be a smashingly good cook, thanks
to DeeDee." (Good thing mommy has backup!)

7) Teaching me the difference between 2 T. and 2 t. of salt. And not being mad when I ruined our chicken dinner so badly even the dog wouldn't eat it.

8) Letting me ride under the grocery cart. Let's face it, there's a seriously limited window in which you're allowed to lay flat on your belly with your arms out like Superman as your mother shops for bananas. Letting me be that kid while ignoring the looks you got from strangers makes you Superwoman.

Aw, Grandma, I didn't wake mom up THAT much!

9) Letting me wake you up. At 3 am, 6 am, even 2 pm because some days I refused to nap. I don't remember doing it, but I know I did. I also know you gave me medicine, gave me water, and gave me a stern talking to sometimes. Thanks for always being there, even when you'd have rather used earplugs, turned off the monitor and pretended weekends were for sleeping in.

Making "Christmas Trees" with sugar cones and green icing.
The icing sometimes jumps straight to your mouth.
Can't be helped.

10) Believing memories were more important than messes. Remember how Kim and I used to love to play in the tub until our fingers turned to prunes, and all the water we splashed out of the tub magically dried up before we even had our pajamas on?

Remember all the toys you let us play with that would clean themselves up every night so we could rediscover them again the next day?

Remember when you would let us "help" you do things so they could get done faster and better than if you'd just done them on your own?

Remember teaching us how to make Christmas trees with bright green frosting? A family tradition that we now celebrate with our own kids...

Mark makes sure even Auntie gets in on the clean up
action. The icing bowl attacked him.
Couldn't be helped.

Thanks mom. For everything.

That's What YOU Think

My kids do not think like I do. (Shocking, I know.)

Rumor has it this will continue well into adolescence. It's been said that even when they finally acheive adulthood and some form of maturity... they may still think differently than I do. (I assure you I will do my best to prevent that from happening.)

Um, this is not exactly what I meant when I said,
"Lay down and go to sleep!"

At what point do they begin to think like adults? At what stage do they look at a bookcase and cease to think that climbing it would be fun? When do they realize that drinking the water from the tub they just peed in is actually NOT a good idea? And don't even get me started about scissors.

No, children certainly do not think like we do. They have a wonderful sense of seeing the world only as it is presently. They do not look to the past, and they cannot look to the future. They see items and circumstances only as they are now. Which is their gift.

"I think I need a hat in the next size down..."

I look at our pots and pans reminding me of meals that need to be made, dishes that need to be washed, and meal planning that has yet to be done. My children see clanging cymbals, containers for trucks, and sometimes - hats. Whatever they happen to need in that moment, the objects around them can serve the purpose. They are not restrained with rules of how things are to be "used", what they are "for" and how they "work".

The imagination of a child is an amazing miracle. The world around them is still pliable. They can bend any object to serve the purpose at hand. The rigid structure of adulthood has not pierced their thoughts, inhibiting them from licking peanut butter off the table or turning couch cushions into forts. Responsibility and knowledge don't weigh on them, preventing them from enjoying dirt, water, food and bugs.

Mud Pie. It's no longer just for dessert!

They don't care if they get dirty. They don't have to care. That's what we're here for. So, as I walk around the house and find things that are a little "off", I have begun to take pictures. (Shocking, I know.) Reminders that their vision of the world around them is so different from my own...

Please join me on a short but fascinating trip into the minds of my children. But please, no questions - I have no idea what they were thinking.

"Whaddya mean pockets aren't made to hold dirt?
It works perfectly!"

"Who needs pancakes? Or a shirt? Or the ability
to actually twist open the cap?"

"But every time I took one bag out, another
popped up in it's place! Isn't that how
the game works?"

Swim suit or new headwear? She's such a
fashion trendsetter.

Why yes, that is a kitchen sink filled to the brim.
Why yes, that is my daughter drinking straight from it.
Why yes, that is my son scooping water oblivious to
how abnormal this entire situtation is...

You see: Iced Tea Pot
They see: Stuffed Animal Sleeping Quarters

Oh, like you haven't found your keys hanging from
holes in the walls at your house. Right.
(How the holes got there is another story...)

*No Caption Needed* (Ha!)

"Hey mom! What's in-hi-bition?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"How come adults have no idea how fun this room is?"

You see: Laundry Basket
She sees: Chair. Or Train. (Depends on the day.)

Speaking of trains... why bother with the plastic one
when you can invent your own?

I love the reminders that my children definitely do NOT think the way I do. On second thought, I take back my earlier statement. Maybe I won't do my best to teach them how to think like me. Maybe I'll even learn a little something from them.

Another, Um, Month Gone?

It turns out October is a surprisingly busy month. We have birthdays, trips to pumpkin patches and local attractions like Apple Hill, and of course the usual chaos that comes with red-headed mess makers:

"See no evil..."

"Look ma! No hands!"

I've been working on planning specific activities for the kids. Part of it is to encourage imagination and play, helping them to learn and experience new things. The other part is that sometimes I get to strap them down in one place for 20 minutes:

"Ooohhh... look Grace! Mom thinks this will keep us
out of trouble. Hahahahaha!!!!"

Mark only gets to play with the caps to the markers.

Grace got to color with markers for the first time, and
did a great job drawing circles for mommy!

Strapping them down is helpful, but not foolproof. While they were playing, I got a phone call and went into the other room for just a moment...

"Um, mommy? What does the 'permanent' in
permanent marker mean?"

Luckily, they were washable markers. I may walk out of the room when my 3 year old has a rainbow of markers in front of her, but even I have some brain cells left.

Remember the rice and beans Grace had such a fun time with last March? Mark was too little to participate then, but he's finally outgrown putting things in his mouth all the time, so I let him try it out recently. He loved it! He did quite well, but toward the end he still tried to eat some. Nevertheless, it kept them both busy for a long while which made me happy. Oh, and them too.

Why yes, that is a pink tutu over a party dress.
If one is pretty, two must be prettier!

Mark really got into the whole sensory experience. After
using just his hands for 20 minutes, he graduated
to full body immersion.

It's hard to believe I haven't posted ANY pictures of all our adventures the last two months. I finally went through them, and picked out some of the best. There are over 100. Hey, I told you we'd been busy!! Even the Grands may not be able to handle that much Sunshine at once, so I'll share just one with you today.

When daddy was on vacation last month, we did lots of fun stuff - including the Children's Museum. Both of the kids had a great time playing, exploring and working. Well, maybe not working, but training for future employment.

"What extension please? Can you hold?"

Panama Canal Director OR Disney Park Engineer

Ships captain OR
the role of Ginger on the new Gilligan's Island

Bus Driver OR Practicing for Drivers License

"'Don't worry dad, I've got this one!"

"If you run out of fingers, you can always use your
tongue. It helps."

This was by FAR Gracie's favorite play area. The register
beeps, the drawer opens, and she even handed me
my change! We did this over, and over, and over....

Life isn't always roses though. Earlier this month, Grace was climbing on a toy and fell off. She has a huge smile on her face because she was granted permission for a band-aid. If only everything were that simple.

"This has to rate at least TWO bandaids!"

Mark also got a bandaid this week. He went to the doctor for a check up. He's in the 75% for height, which means his Daddy is very proud of his "big boy" and his mommy is going to have to buy size 2T footie pajamas because his toes are threatening to burst out of the 18 month sleepers due to those long legs.

Mark had a GREAT time at the doctor's office. He played when we first arrived:

"Wow! This doctor stuff is fun! Let's do this every week!"

"I'll dance, you spin on the chair... then we'll switch!"

"Let's see, yep! All stocked up. Are we done here?"

After the kids were done touching, opening and playing with everything not baby-proofed, the nurse finally arrived. Mark cried when I put him in the scale to weigh him (25 lbs!). He cried when I put him down to measure him. He cried when they measured the circumference of his head. He cried when they took his temperature. He cried, cried, cried...

"Breathe? How can I breathe? I'm practically
hyperventilating here!"

"Look lady! Only I put things in my ears!
And for the record, it's usually something edible!"

If he had known what was coming, maybe he would have saved the tears for the final scene:

"What was THAT? I don't care how many
band-aids are involved. I'm NOT going to smile!"

"DeeDee... they SHOT me! SHOT ME!!!
Isn't that illegal or something?"
(DeeDee is a nurse, that's why she can smile while
Mark is so upset...)

"Nevermind what I said about the
doctor being fun. I'm NEVER going back!"

Gracie is also growing by leaps and bounds. You can't see it on the outside, but her words and actions indicate a much deeper level of understanding. She is still in love with the moon, and frequently asks to see it. "Where did the sun go?" is a nightly question, and "It's dark outside/in there/in my room" is a frequent comment.

Recently, I put her hair in a ponytail when we were in the kitchen. When I was done, she said "I'm going to go look in the mirror!" Daddy asked me how long she'd been saying things like that. I replied "About 2 seconds!" She has been fascinated with the mirror lately though. I caught her yesterday admiring how it works:

"Why yes, you do resemble Mrs. Potato Head!"

"Uh, mom? Some privacy please? I'm practicing for
my role on the next Toy Story movie."

"Oh my goodness! Buzz in trouble again??"

"Don't worry, I can be worried and pucker up for the
final kissing scene. Buzz does have a thing
for redheads you know."

Well, you made it to the end! I hope your month was filled with more smiles than bandaids, and that you're taking the time out of a busy life to enjoy those you love. Good job for making it all the way through... not everyone does you know.

"Whew! That was exhausting!"