Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Quantum Toddler

I have a secret: my child is a genius. He's only just begun to walk, and already he's a master at quantum physics.

Yeah, I'm a smart one. What can I say?
Let me explain. The science of quantum physics has many subfields, but the one that Mark seems to have mastered is quantum tunneling. Quantum tunneling, in very simple terms, is when an electron appears to "jump" from one place to another - without ever having actually been in between the two spaces.

Since quantum physics deals with the very, very small portions of the world around us, it only makes sense that infants and toddlers would understand this realm better. Lets face it, if a tiny item is anywhere within the reach of an infant, there is a great likelihood that they will not only find it, but will put it in their mouth. We are told this is their way of exploring. Well, my son has proven a master of "exploring". I think it's really just a way to get things closer to their little brains for inspection.

So, on to my genius offspring. Not only has Mark mastered the concept of tunneling, he can perform the maneuver. Yep, I swear one moment he is standing right next to me, and the next he will instantly be across the house, headed for the sprinklers outside faster than you can throw a diaper in the pail. (Did I mention quantum mechanics apparently works better if you're naked?)

That's right. My son, who can barely walk over the garage door threshold, can transport himself from being right by my side in the kitchen to being in the bathroom playing in the toilet in less time than it takes for me to turn my head to ask his sister why she is plunging the tines of her fork into our dining room table. (He has also learned to keep the toilet lid lifted using only his head: I told you he was a genius!)

I generally try not to brag about my children, as every child grows and develops at their own pace, but something tells me that Mark is going to be sought after by universities and think tanks around the world. After all, how many little boys do you know who can go from innocently standing two inches away to being across the yard eating and dirt in just one second?

That many?? Hmmm...

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