Floor Solutions

I hate mopping floors. Today I realized it is not for lack of effort, but simply because I have been using the wrong tools. I have one of these:


Mine is not this festive. Maybe it should be.

And this:



My latest purchase. Apparently not my last.

Two of these:

Failed me miserably. And is missing the "automatic" button.

 

Was even worse. (I didn't know that was possible.)

And in moments of true desperation... sometimes this:

These, dear readers, are pot scrapers.
They do wonders - but you have to be awfully
close to the floor to use them.

The light dawned as my Swiffer effortlessly smeared the strawberry filling of a cereal bar across the linoleum. The broom had smashed the bar into the nooks and crannies of the vinyl just moments earlier. As I pulled out the pot scraper and went to work on fossilized banana bits, I worked out a plan. It's only $1,039:

Well, hello Jack! It's good to see you.

Look for it on an Amazon wishlist near you...
and I'm sure it's worth every penny.