Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Cell Phone SASS

Dear Man at WalMart,

I know. It's WalMart. This store has a solid reputation for harboring teenagers in pajamas, young mothers shopping with infants at 10pm, and other generally inappropriate public displays of ineptness. However, for those of us who shop there and don't display these tendencies, we do our best to simply ignore those in the world who do.

But you sir, are very hard to ignore. While I applaud the fact that you came dressed in nice clothing, even wearing slacks instead of jeans, you still managed to fit in with the WalMart stereotype.

You see, the "Jawbone" bluetooth headset attached to the side of your face did you in. While I'm sure the advertising for this wonderful piece of equipment used words like "stylish" and "sleek", it still looks weird attached to the side of your head.

Lucky for you, we as a society have been taught to ignore such displays of strangeness (see teenager reference above). We have even been taught to ignore the fact that you answer the phone and have private conversations in the middle of a very public place.

Despite our desire to pretend you do not exist, I could not ignore the fact that you were YELLING into your headset. I was three aisles away, and could hear every word. Even more disturbing was the fact that after saying hello and finding that your wife was not available to chat, you asked (and I use that term loosely, as you were still at decibel levels rivaling a rock concert) the person on the other end whether or not you should purchase toilet paper for the family.

Yes, Mr. Jawbone Bluetooth Businessman in Slacks.... you've just blown your cover. Welcome to WalMart.

Another Shopper Who Knows More About You Than She Ever Wanted To