Ten Things I Forgot to Thank My Father For

Awww... you didn't think I could thank mom for all her sacrifices without thinking of some of the crazy stuff we put dad through did you?

Two really good lookin' people who were
destined to have really good lookin' kids.
And grandkids.

My parents have been married for over 35 years. They either love each other very much, or couldn't stand the thought of having to start over and raise more children. Since I'm an optimist, I'm going to believe it's the former. Dad was there right alongside mom, teaching and working to make sure my sister and I learned  how to be confident and independent - and not living at home for the rest of our lives.

Unlike moms, dads have a different kind of responsibility toward their children. Let's face it, if the kids don't bathe for a week and they break a fingernail or two before they learn to chew them off... would dad really care?

Fathers have a high tolerance for things mothers don't. That tolerance is what helps them teach their children about the great outdoors when camping for a week with no showers in sight. Nobody ever died of a little bug bite, and a bloody mess that leaves a scar but doesn't kill you "builds character". Dads know how to do "stuff". They fix things, build things, and jump in alongside you as if they too were nine years old. Dads deserve their own kind of thanks for the things we've forgotten.

Dad, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for:

1) Waking me up for school every morning. I now realize you probably dreaded waking me up more than I dreaded getting up. The cold water in the spray bottle though? That was genius.

"Like this Daddy. Good job!"

2) Yelling "Quit splashing!" and "I'd better not see water all over the floor in there!" Instead of just cutting bathtime from 30 minutes to three. You knew we were having fun. You also knew we were still going to get the floor sopping wet, no matter how much yelling was involved.

3) Going with me to the police station to take a bike safety class. And not being angry that I was required to attend because I got a "ticket" for riding on the wrong side of the street. Oh, and for letting me ride my bike all over town in the first place, even if mom wasn't so keen on the idea.

"...and if you turn the hose on really slow,
in the morning you'll have icicles."

4) Hanging the Christmas tree lights every year, inside and outside. Also, thanks for finding that one light that had burnt out. Thank goodness those are now "the good 'ol days".

I loved the icicles we had on our house in Florida. Sure, we knew you'd climbed up there with the water hose in order to get the icicles to form, but now I realize it was an extra effort you took just for the enjoyment of your family. (And trust me, I'm still talking about it three decades later - it was really fun.)

5) Teaching me to drive. (A stick shift no less!) I don't remember being traumatized or even scared when I got behind the wheel. I do remember the "mall cop" stopping us and asking what we were doing. I guess driving in circles in the parking lot at 9 pm on Sundays was a bit unusual back then.

"Daddy would never get this done
without my help!"

6) Teaching me the difference between a pipe wrench, adjustable wrench and socket wrench. You always let me "help" you do the jobs around the house, yard and in the garage. I learned a lot as you patiently taught me tasks that must have taken twice as long to complete when I was at your side.

7) Making me practice changing the tire on my car before letting me drive across the country. Oh, and showing me how to jump start a car. I wish I could remember what you taught me...

8) Letting me drive across the country. I still love traveling, and driving out to school in Wisconsin, on to New  York, down to Florida, and back home again holds many fond memories for me. I don't yet know what it's like to send your kid down the road with a spare tire and full tank of gas, but I can't imagine it was easy. Thanks for teaching me what I needed to know, and trusting me to use it.

9) Teaching me to respect my elders. Thanks for giving me a "dressing down" when I spoke badly about Grandpa, even though I know he drove you crazy too. Respect, loyalty and compassion were all traits you taught, not just through words, but through actions.

"Grandpa, Gracie says baseball games and camping
isn't just for boys. What do you think? Should
we let her in the club?"

10) Hiking up mountains, taking me to baseball games, camping for a week, and doing other things mom would rather not. I'd play outdoors all day and have a nice warm fire, dinner from a can, and s'mores when we got back to camp. Climbing Half Dome in Yosemite was by far the coolest hike we ever did. I still tell stories about that trip. (And my head swells with pride at the accomplishment - which would never have happened without your determination to get us to the top!)

The rules to baseball were explained over and over, and hot dogs and sodas accompanied my cousins and I as we watched our team play. I even remember playing baseball outside on Christmas day, and getting hit in the head with a baseball while sliding into home base... now we know what's wrong with me.

Kim and I still laugh about our trip into the Everglades. Only a dad would take his two girls primitive camping with "barking" alligators lurking about in the middle of the night! I love remembering the time we spent together. Those memories would never have happened if you'd left it up to mom!

Thanks dad, for everything.

Ten Things I Forgot to Thank My Mother For

As the saying goes,

"You don't know what you've got until you're the one having to do it all yourself."

Well, something like that anyway. Over the past few weeks, the holidays have kept us pretty busy here in the Sunshine household. Despite all the extra hubbing and bubbing, there are certain tasks that continue to be done regardless of how crazy life gets. Most of the time, those tasks fall to me. Which got me to thinking...

Who did this before I came along?

Me and Mom.  If I manage to do half as good a job
as she did, I'd count myself blessed.

My mother. Of course.

To start the new year off right, I'm going to send out a shout of thanks for some of the tasks she performed tirelessly. Although if I'm any indication, maybe "tirelessly" is not the word... maybe more like "exhaustedly but out of love" is more appropriate.

Oh - and just to be clear - this isn't the whole Hallmark, mushy, I love you because you're wonderful and taught me that going out in my pajamas is not okay, even if it is just Walmart. No, this list is for the things that are forgotten. Overlooked because I was either too young to notice, or because they are taken for granted every day. So here goes:

Mother, thank you from the bottom of my heart for:

1) Potty Training. Wow. I cannot imagine what my life would be if you had chosen to simply skip this step. Or not clean up any accidents I may have had. (Although I didn't, right? Have accidents? 'Cause I was the perfect child. Right? Mom??)

2) Wrapping all the Christmas gifts. Especially the funky shaped ones - since gift bags had yet to be invented. I still remember some pretty awesome squishy gifts wrapped rather creatively in paper. Kudos for the effort. There's nothing quite as fun as shredding up paper and ending with a toy.

3) Clipping my fingernails. And toenails. For YEARS. I actually remember you clipping my fingernails as a child. I just had no idea you'd done it every week since the day I was born...

"Hey mom! This sure is fun, isn't it?"

4) Pushing me on the swingset. Incessantly. I now realize that it was not quite as much fun for you as it was for me.

5) Washing my sheets. Magically, fresh linens would appear on my bed regularly throughout my childhood, with no one around to witness the incredible feat. Unlike the doctor's office, where they simply grab the tissue paper covering, roll a fresh sheet over the table and toss the used section, my sheets were made of fabric. You actually washed, dryed and replaced my sheets. Endlessly.

6) Brushing my hair. Oh, and not chopping it off when I got gum stuck in it. Twice. Also for letting it grow long even though I would end up with "rat's nests" at the nape of my neck every morning. I loved my long hair and pigtails, even if they were a little lopsided from time to time because of all my wiggling while you were attempting to wrangle that little elastic band over my tresses.

"I'm going to be a smashingly good cook, thanks
to DeeDee." (Good thing mommy has backup!)

7) Teaching me the difference between 2 T. and 2 t. of salt. And not being mad when I ruined our chicken dinner so badly even the dog wouldn't eat it.

8) Letting me ride under the grocery cart. Let's face it, there's a seriously limited window in which you're allowed to lay flat on your belly with your arms out like Superman as your mother shops for bananas. Letting me be that kid while ignoring the looks you got from strangers makes you Superwoman.

Aw, Grandma, I didn't wake mom up THAT much!

9) Letting me wake you up. At 3 am, 6 am, even 2 pm because some days I refused to nap. I don't remember doing it, but I know I did. I also know you gave me medicine, gave me water, and gave me a stern talking to sometimes. Thanks for always being there, even when you'd have rather used earplugs, turned off the monitor and pretended weekends were for sleeping in.

Making "Christmas Trees" with sugar cones and green icing.
The icing sometimes jumps straight to your mouth.
Can't be helped.

10) Believing memories were more important than messes. Remember how Kim and I used to love to play in the tub until our fingers turned to prunes, and all the water we splashed out of the tub magically dried up before we even had our pajamas on?

Remember all the toys you let us play with that would clean themselves up every night so we could rediscover them again the next day?

Remember when you would let us "help" you do things so they could get done faster and better than if you'd just done them on your own?

Remember teaching us how to make Christmas trees with bright green frosting? A family tradition that we now celebrate with our own kids...

Mark makes sure even Auntie gets in on the clean up
action. The icing bowl attacked him.
Couldn't be helped.

Thanks mom. For everything.

A Post Dated Post*

Dear Mommy,

Thank you so much for taking care of me this weekend when I was feeling sick. I have heard it said that boys can be big babies when they don't feel well, so I did my best to live up to all expectations. You did a great job of holding me constantly, and if you ever need  a recommendation for best person to pull an all-nighter with, you've got it.

I especially appreciated the fact that you kept constantly moving so that I could sleep. Next time, you should sleep too - I don't understand why the constant rocking and pacing didn't put you right to sleep. If you'd just kept moving while you were sleeping, we both would have had a much better night.

I also appreciate that despite only having three hours' of sleep, you still allowed me to have fun the next morning. Standing at the light switch for ten minutes was a blast. You flip it up, I push it down. Oh, and the light turns on and off too! How exciting is that? I can't believe we don't do this more often. Especially since it keeps my interest enough to keep me from crying. That's always a good thing.

Also, letting me have the spoon at breakfast? That made me happy too. I suppose you were just too tired to fight the constant battle for the spoon any longer. Sorry about the bright purple blueberry spot on the floor. I had no idea what a great arm I had for flinging that stuff around!

Thanks for all the kisses and cuddles, the constant checking on me and the personalized attention. I had a great time. I can't wait until next time I'm sick, so we can do this all over again!

Love,
Mark

*Confessions of a blogging mom: I tend to write multiple posts at a time when the muse strikes, and then leave them in draft form so I can pull out a quick post when time (or creative energy) is running low. Mark is not actually sick this week (thank heavens!). This letter was written in February, but when I ran across it today... it still seemed timely. I hope you enjoyed it.

Ease Into Exhaustion

Last night, I lay in bed thinking about exhaustion. No, the irony was not lost on me.

Thankfully, I got eight hours of sleep last night for the first time in about four weeks. I don’t have a newborn, I’m not working graveyard, and I’ve even been going to bed at a decent hour (well, most nights). I just can’t sleep. This got me to thinking about a time when I was really tired. No, I mean really, REALLY tired.

I’ve never trained for a marathon. I have friends that have trained and completed marathons. Apparently if you’re really hardcore, losing your toenails is not uncommon. After race day, you are supposed to rest for at least one day for every mile you run. Your body can get so depleted, that you need to rest for weeks in order to recover. In case I forgot to mention it, I have no intention of ever running a marathon.

I have watched a television show about Navy SEALS, and how they have to qualify in all sorts of grueling events before they can “join the team”. I distinctly remember the SEAL recruits having to lie on the sand at the edge of the ocean in freezing cold temperatures. The waves were crashing over the young men, clad only in cotton t-shirts and shorts. They hadn’t slept for almost 24 hours, they were battling hypothermia, and their instructors were yelling – and it wasn't words of encouragement. I remember sitting on my comfortable couch, covered in a warm blanket, eating from a bowl filled with ice cream dripping in chocolate sauce and thinking “I would never do that.”

A little less than a year later, my firstborn arrived. There’s nothing like a newborn to help introduce you to true sleep deprivation. If you happen to have one of those wonderful angel babies that slept constantly and barely woke you to eat, then I encourage you to have a newborn and a one year old that wakes up at 5:30 am. If you're really lucky, the one year old won’t fall asleep until 9 pm (thank heaven for baby jails cribs!) and only takes a two hour nap. Is this worse than your toenails falling off? Worse than a 24 hour torture session with icy salt water slapping your face every 5 seconds?

Um, maybe. There are some important distinctions that must be made from the above three scenarios. First, the marathon. When planning on running ridiculous distances for no logical reason (sometimes you even end up where you started!) you get to train. You start slowly and build up to levels your body can handle. Sure, you’re pushing yourself the entire time, but you get to go in incremental levels designed to keep your legs from falling off.

The Navy SEAL training? There are so many distinctions to make it’s almost impossible. First, all these guys had to do was say “Uncle” and they could be relieved of their pain. Yes, shame would follow in short order, but they still had a choice. Speaking of choice, they had all chosen this test of endurance because they wanted to be a part of an elite squadron who protects the lives of fellow Americans and keeps our country free. Quite a noble profession, and one which requires much hardening of the body and soul (people do shoot at you, after all).

Finally, the newborn. Yes, I know it was a choice. This doesn’t put it on the same level as the choice to become a Navy SEAL though. I didn’t sign up for this in the hopes of saving the world or risking life and limb for freedom. I just wanted my kids to draw pictures of our family, complete with a little house whose smoke producing chimney hints at the fire burning on the sunniest day you ever saw. (If you were inclined to check, I’m sure the A/C would be on and all the windows would be open too.) I wanted my son to bring me a wilted dandelion that I could proudly display on the dinner table. I wanted my daughter to go shopping with me. (And not lay down in the middle of an aisle because she "felt she needed a rest.”)

Marathon runners and SEALS get training. Moms? We might get an epidural and some ice chips. Almost half of us get major abdominal surgery and a notice from our insurance company. After hours of intense physical discomfort and the complete loss of any dignity we may have had, the closest a mom gets to training: feed your baby when she cries.

Yes. Great. Thanks for the tip.

In retrospect, getting up three times a night to empty the three teaspoons of pee from an incredibly full pregnancy bladder is a hint of what's to come. However, since you’re generally back in bed within five minutes and you know how to “use the potty”, it really doesn’t correspond to the forty-five minute middle of the night feedings and endless diaper changes.

The biggest difference? At some point, the marathon is over and the SEALS get to request a vacation. Or a sabbatical. Or whatever it is SEALS do after killing people. Moms – especially moms of newborns – don’t get to say “Uncle”. They can’t mark a date on their calendar and tell themselves that after that accomplishment, they can hang up their running shoes and bottle warmers and relax. Moms are on duty 24/7/365. Sleep exhaustion does subside (I’m told) but there is no moment in the future at which you can mark a calendar and say, "That’s it! I’ve done it! I’m all finished with that task, on to the next."

I’ve discussed this predicament with more than one mom along the way, and it will probably come as no surprise that every one of them told me: “Thinking back on all the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, loads of laundry, filthy floors, temper tantrums, and potty training – if I had to do it all over again, I’d be willing to do it twice.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Another Week Gone...

Okay, so maybe Tuesday's post made it sound like we've had a bad week. Well, I got eight hours of sleep last night.

Eight.

Hours.

That means you can officially ignore Tuesday's post, because this week is FABULOUS. Even though Mark started crawling in earnest this week, and I now have to watch him every second.
Eight. Hours.

Even though first thing yesterday morning, Gracie walked into the bathroom and "helped" me by giving my glasses back to me - with one earpiece perpendicular to the rest of the frame. It's OK. Really.
Eight. Hours.

As you know from Tuesday's post, Grace found my make-up bag on Monday night. Robert and I were both just fifteen feet away, and I had barely set my purse down two minutes prior to the "photo shoot". We were supposed to be heading out the door, but Robert had a quick question... and the rest, as they say...

So without further ado, here is Another Week Gone...

Uh, Mommy? Have you seen Grace lately?

Wait! I haven't put the lipliner on yet!

 

Kisses! Kisses make everything better!

Daddy falls for it every time....

Kisses? That's all it takes to get out of trouble?
I am SO using that next time!

The very next morning, Grandma DeeDee called to see if Grace could come to her house. Mommy had the bags packed in less than fifteen minutes.

As usual, Grace had a blast: 

Papa and Gracie enjoying the fall evening

Gracie watching Elmo on her Elmo chair...

Grace did NOT want to come home. When she saw me pull up, she said to Grandma happily "Mommy!" Followed immediately, and not so happily, by "No Mommy!". Smart girl. We all know how different life is at home compared to life with The Grands...

On the way home, she was back to her normal self. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw this:



Where is Gracie?

There she is! (One of our favorite "games")

I finally got Mark showing off his crawling skills: 

Okay Mom, you ready?



Ta-Da!



Oh yeah, I'm on my way to trouble now!


No matter what kind of week you've had, I hope you get a chance to appreciate the fun that your little ones bring to your life and find something to be thankful for....

Eight. Hours. (I couldn't resist.)

Another Week Gone...

So much happened this week! I almost skipped some of the photos because I was sure they were from last week. It's been a long ride...

We celebrated my "real" birthday this week. After all the parties for Grace, I'm not sure she realized this one wasn't for her. Mark still hasn't quite figured it out yet. Probably because he never gets cake.
 

Grace: They're singing that song again.
That can only mean one thing...
Mark: What? What?!?



CAKE!



Monday was difficult. Apparenty, Gracie decided she needed to get all of her spankings out of the way first thing, so she cried, whined, hit her brother, screamed "No!", and participated in as much chaos as her little hands could find. Thankfully, she was back to "normal" after that - not perfect, but at least manageable.

Hello two's, very not nice to meet you.

Despite attempting to drive mommy screaming from the house, we actually had a great week and did lots of fun things. Daddy was on a business trip the last half of the week, so we made sure to spend some family time together before he left:

Mommy took Grace on a bike ride:



Mommy FINALLY learned to ride a bike.



"Dad, are you sure it's safe to be
in this contraption with mom at the wheel?"



We all went to the park the night before Daddy left:



Hi Daddy! Hi Sweetheart! (Awww...)



Daddy helped Gracie master the monkey bars



Gracie showed off for Daddy by
using the "big" swing



Gracie has been working on getting up the climbing wall,
and this time she did it all by herself!

 

Mark had fun at the park too.


Grandma Dee Dee came to help mommy out on Wednesday, and I got seven straight hours of sleep. Wow. That looks so good it makes me want to repeat it. Mark has not taken a night feeding since he was two months old, but for some reason one or the other of the kids seems to think that waking up in the middle of the night is fun. So, I was grateful that DeeDee came to help entertain the kids and let me get some much needed rest.

Yesterday we went to my best friend's house and we all had a great time. Grace loved playing with the boys, and we got to "paint" cookies! Here are the highlights:



Daniel and Grace are making Playdough cookies.
They were sure to put rock "chocolate chips" in too.

Gracie doing her favorite thing: playing in dirt and
putting things in and out of buckets.



Gracie practicing for the powder
puff showdown...

We used paint brushes to "color"
the sugar cookies. Fun!



Gracie caught on right away, and LOVED it.

   

Um, yeah. Saw that comin'.



How am I going to use these sprinkles AND get those
sprinkles away from the boys???

  

Yay! I got 'em all!



I think I'll take the green ghost, thank you very much!

Hope you had a great week too, even if you had a few speed bumps along the way. Be sure to have fun with your little ghouls and goblins, and stay "cool" until next week!

What is a SAHM?

A Seasoned Chef
Today I ate cold macaroni and cheese for lunch.

I ate it straight from the pot.

With the serving spoon.

While standing at the stove.

And it was 2:15 in the afternoon.

I'm trying to tone down the glamour here, lest all the working moms read this and decide that they too want to stay home with their kids so they can participate in this kind of excitement.

I assure you, when I was a working mom, I never got to do any of the fun stuff I do now that I'm a SAHM. I thought that SAHM stood for Stay At Home Mom. Now I'm not so sure.

SAHM: Sometimes Allowed Hot Meals.

The Perfect Hostess
You know how SAHMs always offer you a "refreshment" when you come to visit? It's not because they are concerned about your parched palate. SAHMs ask people to have a seat and offer them a drink in the hopes visitors will get up to use the bathroom and quarters will fall out of their pockets.

It's the only way we get paid.

If you've read my prior post "The Cleanest House", you may have noticed I have slipcovers on the couches. This makes it easier for SAHMs to get paid. Last time I checked the couches, I only found three crayons and the missing nose to Mrs. Potato Head. Very disappointing.

SAHM: Searching About, Hoping for Money.

Midnight Mommy
If you are a Stay At Home Mom, there is a good chance that a man in your life works outside the home to bring in enough money to cover the expenses that your couch hunting skills don't. This means that when a child is sick, teething, wetting the bed, sleepwalking, or up in the middle of the night for any reason, you are the Go-To-Girl.

SAHM: Sleep About Half as Much.

Always There
Don't get me wrong - I love being a Stay At Home Mom. I saw Mark roll over for the first time. I saw Gracie draw her first circle as we colored together. I saw her dance with delight as she discovered the water hose this summer. I see my kids discovering, learning, and growing every day...

SAHM: Sees All the Happy Moments.

Or is that Seize All the Happy Moments?

Another Week Gone...

This week was certainly eventful, as we had Gracie's birthday and a camping trip. If I were to include every fabulously cute picture of my children (and really, aren't they all?) then you would have to schedule your meals around reading the blog because we took (are you ready for this...?) four hundred and seventy pictures.

Yep. The beauty of digital cameras.

The non-beauty is that I have to go through each one of them at some point and save, label, crop, or send them to the round file. But not today. Today I will share with you the highlights of the two events, and maybe at some point in the future post more pictures and pass on the wisdom I learned while camping with a two year old and five month old.

Happy Birthday Two You

Gracie helped make her birthday cupcakes.
Can we eat it now mom?

Of course, they had to be Elmo!

News of her love for Elmo has reached it target audience,
as she was given a lot of Elmo gifts!

She loved having "Happy Birthday" sung to her!

She was fascinated by the candle, and did a
very good job of blowing it out all by herself!

She got a "Hokey Pokey Elmo" and loved it.
She cried when we took it away to give her
another gift to open!

She has gotten much better at opening gifts, although
she quickly got bored of opening and wanted to
play with the ones she'd already gotten!

Gracie had a great birthday party, and loved being the center of attention. I don't think she quite understood what it was all about, but after a week of asking if it was her birthday, we finally got her to say yes. Success!
 
Next Stop...
 

Wow! This outdoors thing is fun!
When can I get down and play in the dirt?

Cousin John pulling Gracie around the lake.

Daddy and Gracie roasted hot dogs for dinner.

Too much fun! Gracie fell asleep on the way back to camp.

Mommy and Gracie playing in the beach sand.
(Yes, mommy is wearing jeans and a sweatshirt,
and Gracie is in shorts and a t-shirt... hmmm.)

Mark showing off daddy's hat.
Mark is so cute, Daddy might not get it back...

What a fun week! All of us are tired out.
Say "Good Night Gracie"...

  Be sure to take your little ones on an outdoor outing, whether it's the park, the pool, or the campground. The weather is already changing, and soon we'll be looking for indoor activities to keep little hands busy!