A Retailer Rant

A quick update: the Sunshine family has been house hunting, church helping, family visiting maniacs the past week. And we all got the flu. Yay family!

For the most part, the kids and I have recovered from a version of the 24 hour flu. Rob is still a little under the weather, but he's planning on returning to work tomorrow. With all this excitement in the house, I was getting a bit stir crazy. I needed some time to myself. Naturally, I went shopping.

Usually, I shop at Target - they have a pretty routine markdown schedule for their clearance items, and as we all know... a budget hound like me is a sucker for clearance items! Unfortunately, I ripped a pair of shorts at my last visit to Papa DeeDee's house and could no longer ignore the shortage of shorts in my closet. When Robert assured me he could handle two tyrants and a bout of the flu, I took off with nary a backward glance. Tonight was the night! One pair of jean shorts, coming up!

I had a coupon for Kohl's (saw that comin' didn't ya?) and they were having an end of season clearance sale, so off I went with high hopes. Kohl's has become the de facto replacement for Mervyn's. Remember Mervyn's??? (Sigh.) I like Kohl's very much, and have purchased quite a few items from them over the years. However, even if I weren't a ridiculously cheap frugal value conscious cheap shopper, even I know only crazy people pay $32 for a pair of children's shorts. (Uh, if you are one of those crazy people, please ignore that last sentence.)

As I wander the aisles, I begin to wonder if there are shoppers who really pay the full retail price, or if everyone knows to at least wait for a sale, percentage off coupon in the mail or coupon from the paper? And, if you don't wait for the coupons or sales, do you realize the mark up on these things? Even CNBC admitted it's a common practice to jack the prices sky high in order to discount them. Oops. My inner coupon nerd is showing.

Onward.

So here I am, shopping the clearance racks for a decent pair of shorts. I see denim material and a tag that says "waist minimizing panel". Eureka! Dear Lord, can you please let this be in my size? I yank the garment from the rack, ignoring the size clearly printed at the top of the hanger.

Why in the world do stores bother to put the size of the clothing on the hanger, only to hang clothing on it that isn't remotely close to the size indicated? If they saved the money they spent on marking the hangers, maybe they wouldn't have to charge $32 for something I pay $4 for on clearance (and suspect they still clear a profit). Oops. My inner efficiency nerd is showing.

This is NOT what I found at Kohl's.
If I had, this post would have been
dramatically funnier.

Where were we? Oh yes, waist minimizing jean shorts in a size.... four. FOUR! Well gee Wally, don't you think every garment would be waist minimizing in a size four??? Goodness, if I could fit into a size four, I don't think "waist minimizing" is something I'd be too concerned about, would I? My superior logic tells me this is why it probably remains on the clearance rack. Honestly, do these clothing retailers get a chuckle at their own ridiculousness? Oops. My inner mom jeans are showing.

After an hour of searching, I failed to find a pair of denim shorts. I did find five t-shirts, one amazingly cute dress, and a pair of brown pedal pushers. None of which I needed. Also, I've found that clothes shopping after having had the flu makes you feel awfully good about how well your clothing size (which is not a size four, in case you were wondering) fits. All in all, a good night. And so, this quick update to let you know that despite my absence, we are not dead - just ill and in need of a good pair of waist minimizing jean shorts.

Another Week Gone...

I took very few pictures this week. Don't worry, I'm not ill or anything.

We did a lot of the usual; running errands, playing in the backyard, even went out of town to visit some friends yesterday. Thinking about my post today, I decided to pull out the camera this morning so the Grands wouldn't go into withdrawal for lack of pictures. But a funny thing happened on the way to the backyard...

Today I didn't take pictures for the Grands, or for my readers, or even for my children (seeing as how this has become their virtual baby books). Today I took pictures for me. Actually, for the future me.

Outside it was seventy two degrees with a light breeze. The sky was a beautiful blue, with wispy clouds that made you nostalgic for a park, a blanket, and time to just reflect. I found myself reflecting on my children as they played on the swings, dug in the dirt (naturally), and shared (or stole, depending on where you were standing) the tricycle. I listened as Grace let her imagination spill out of her mouth, telling Mark about her cooking. She rushed to make pancakes as Mark happily brought dirt to the table for her to cook with.

The weather and innocence of play combined to make me feel nostalgic for what was playing out right before my eyes. I was watching Grace and Mark through the eyes of the future - knowing that mornings like this would be what I would miss.

For my future self, to help you remember:

When Mark was small enough to sit on your belly
and squeal with delight as you rocked him back and forth...

When Grace would literally jump on your back
in the hopes of a horsie ride...

When she brought to your attention the
smallest things that you would pass by...

When she concentrated so hard on making
the perfect mud pancakes...

When she showed such pride in herself for what
she had made (despite any fashion faux paus
her mother committed with her clothing)...

When, despite the joy it would bring to your kids,  you decided
to save the life of a snail by keeping its hiding place a secret...

Knowing the kids would make other discoveries, like
the worm in the grass only a toddler would see...

Yes, they will grow up. But somehow, they just keep
getting better.

And on another day, when the sky is blue and
the clouds beg for reflection, you will
have your memories.

Awwwww.... quit yer snifflin'. Next week they'll be throwing rocks into the toilets, lauching blueberry yogurt onto the windows and eating the dirt pancakes. Trust me.

Since today was actually a pleasure, and I'm in a pretty good (albeit nostalgic) mood, I thought I'd share yet another first. The kids got haircuts. Grace is a pro, and had no problems in the chair:

"Yes, as a matter of fact I AM the star of the Sunshine blog!"

A little pampering to make sure I look fabulous for the camera...

Mark, on the other hand, was a bit less enthusiastic, as this was his first cut...

"I was saving that hair!"

"C'mon people! It took me 16 months just to grow
the hair I've got!!"

Okay, time to pull out the big guns. I don't think there is a man on the planet who cannot be sated with just a small bit of television or video games. My son is proof:

"Ooooohhh! Look! An iPhone! Go ahead
lady, do whatever you want."

Mark is actually watching himself
through the phone's camera.
(Apparently he finds himself as entertaining as we do!)

I hope your week didn't completely pass you by. Take some time to just sit back and watch your loved ones. Young or old, God has really created some amazing people! Have fun this week and if you can't find anyone around worth watching, you can always use the camera on your phone to watch yourself. Mark swears it's pretty enteraining.

Another Week Gone...

I can't believe it's June already. The year is half over. It's not just me either. Living in California, we're usually quite well into the swing of summer by now. This year, the weather has only just caught on - we started the week with cold and rainy weather. Thankfully, the sunshine and temps in the 80's have found their way to the Sunshine SAHM household. Momma was goin' a bit stir crazy. Now she's just crazy.

Unlike last week, I actually took pictures this week! Yay! Mark got a new couch for his birthday (yes, his birthday was two months ago, but we just got around to spending some of the birthday money Grandma Dee Dee had given him):

Yeah, sure, the couch is great.
Where's the remote??

The Toy Story couch also came with 3-D glasses:

Dude, it's even groovier if you put your glasses on
while flashing the peace sign...

Um, sweetie? I don't think they're meant to be
worn quite that tight...

Grace LOVED the glasses, and was very disappointed (read: cried profusely) when we wouldn't let her sleep with them that night. Seeing the picture of her below reminded me of another photo I'd seen of a little redhead in glasses:

I'm not sure what this look is, but to
me - it's priceless.

This is ME - not daddy. I did indeed have red hair that
grew at about the pace that Mark's is growing... which is
to say, barely at all. I'm about Gracie's age in this photo.

Mark wasn't the only one who got something new. Grace got new shoes! She was very excited, as you can see:

Jumping up and down - in her ONE
shoe. She put it on when she woke up and
wore just one shoe for about half the morning.

Grace has begun to have opinions about what she wears, and likes to pick out different things for herself now. I generally let her, as I have no fashion sense whatsoever and couldn't care less if her outfits actually match. I figure if she likes what she's wearing and it covers all the important parts, that's good enough for me.

Imagine my surprise when I asked her to go get her socks on, and she returned with her socks and (ahem) HAT! I burst out laughing. She not only insisted on wearing her "hat" as we left the house, I forgot to tell her to take it off before going through the drive thru at the bank! The teller gave her a lollipop anyway. All I got was a funny look.

Grace with her socks and hat. Or last years'
bathing suit.  You decide.

Wednesday we had friends over to play. The boys showed Mark and Grace how play soccer, and Grace was thrilled that someone could actually play on the swing set with her, instead of just standing near it like mommy does.

Touchdown! Oh wait, it's the other kind of football.

Don't worry, no children were harmed
in the making of this blog post.

Grace loved playing with the "big" boys, and it opened my eyes to what life may be like in the future. Growing up, it was just my sister and I, so the conversations that Zach and Daniel had were quite entertaining to me and Gracie:

Zach created a "pet parasite", and used the word "destruction"
about ten times while he and Daniel perfected the "awesome
special powers" the parasite had for defeating enemies.
Grace is just astounded.

While my kids were napping, Zach showed Daniel "The
most awesome place in the UNIVERSE to sit."

The boys used the words death, dying, blood, destruction, awesome, universe, "ever" and "best", parasite, snake, and other boy words we rarely hear around here. They are great kids, and every time they came up with a description I was laughing. (Daniel was so hungry he was practically dying... and Zach was continually showing the kids the "best" and "coolest" stuff "ever".) We had a blast.

I hope you had a great week in your household, and that the sunshine came to visit you too. Hooray for summer! Oh, that reminds me. When the sun comes out, so do my freckles. En masse. So, it is a bit embarrassing to admit that I spent about twice as long as I should have cleaning the grape jelly off Grace's face this morning. What do those two things have in common? Well, the tiny spot of jelly on her nose wouldn't wipe off - I finally realized it was a freckle. Hee.

Yep, that tiny little dot is indeed a freckle...
the first of many, I'm sure!

Cell Phone SASS

Dear Man at WalMart,

I know. It's WalMart. This store has a solid reputation for harboring teenagers in pajamas, young mothers shopping with infants at 10pm, and other generally inappropriate public displays of ineptness. However, for those of us who shop there and don't display these tendencies, we do our best to simply ignore those in the world who do.

But you sir, are very hard to ignore. While I applaud the fact that you came dressed in nice clothing, even wearing slacks instead of jeans, you still managed to fit in with the WalMart stereotype.

You see, the "Jawbone" bluetooth headset attached to the side of your face did you in. While I'm sure the advertising for this wonderful piece of equipment used words like "stylish" and "sleek", it still looks weird attached to the side of your head.

Lucky for you, we as a society have been taught to ignore such displays of strangeness (see teenager reference above). We have even been taught to ignore the fact that you answer the phone and have private conversations in the middle of a very public place.

Despite our desire to pretend you do not exist, I could not ignore the fact that you were YELLING into your headset. I was three aisles away, and could hear every word. Even more disturbing was the fact that after saying hello and finding that your wife was not available to chat, you asked (and I use that term loosely, as you were still at decibel levels rivaling a rock concert) the person on the other end whether or not you should purchase toilet paper for the family.

Yes, Mr. Jawbone Bluetooth Businessman in Slacks.... you've just blown your cover. Welcome to WalMart.

Sincerely, 
Another Shopper Who Knows More About You Than She Ever Wanted To

The Cleanest House

"If you've come to see me, come anytime.

If you've come to see my house, make an appointment."

Once upon a time, in a city far, far away, I lived in a three bedroom house with just my Prince Charming and I.

And the house was kept clean. (Well, mostly.)

Then, a stork brought a little bundle of joy, and our two income household was able to afford a housekeeper once a month so I could play with my Munchkin instead of clean the toilets.

And the house was kept clean. (Well, sort of.)

Then, the stork brought another bundle of joy, the Prince moved his family to a new house, and the housekeeper and second income went away.

And the house was kept... well, like this:

Okay. So it's not always like this. But this was 10 am on a Tuesday morning, and I swear, the house had been picked up the night before. Before you get eye strain trying to figure out exactly what is going on in the poorly lit picture above, let me enlighten you:

Just that morning, Auntie Ginger had left after her visit. (This is how I know the house had been picked up the night before... we had company for goodness sakes!). The green blob on the couch are sheets from Auntie Ginger's bed. They hadn't quite made it to the laundry in the garage.

The mess on the coffee table is Gracie's stuffed animal "Duck", and the crayons and coloring pad Auntie and Grace used to color together.

The multi-colored blobs on the floor are from the new toy that Auntie got Mark, and Gracie hijacked and opened that morning. (The box from the toy is the white blob on the floor by the coffee table.)

The shoes are Prince Charming's. He did not place them there - his littlest princess did. After all, her fascination with shoes began at a very early age. These shoes have lots of velcro that are noisy and easy to open. And so, they take their place in the middle of the walkway to the living room.

The clothing in front of the couch is the freshly washed load that was brought in just minutes prior to the picture being taken, and had been thrown from the couch onto the floor by the little girl in the picture who is trying to look innocent, but is actually the cause of all this disaster.

(No, she has no pants on... just a diaper. But that is another story, and not relevant to this post, since she somehow managed not to throw the pants into the middle of the living room too - not that anyone would have noticed if she had.)

Finally, the purple Tinkerbell chair and large round bouncer are used to corral the young royals when needed. They are sometimes moved to other rooms, but alas, they do indeed tend to live in this one.

Just three hours later, the royals were napping in their beds, and I worked to get the room back into shape. When finished, it looked like this:

And the house was kept clean. (Well, sometimes.)

Are You Going to Wear THAT?

There was a time when I would think about what I was going to wear more than five minutes before I had to put my clothes on. There was even a time when I would sometimes change my clothes simply because I didn't like the way they looked on me at any given moment. Those days are gone.

Today, I decide what to wear based on three things:
1) Is it clean?
2) If it isn't clean, is there at least no obvious spit up marks or stains?
3) If there are stains or spit up, will it be covered by another item of clothing I'll be wearing?

I know I have lost at least three friends by posting this. Okay, maybe our friendship isn't ruined, but they will be spending a lot less time with me in public.

It's not that I don't care about my appearance. I do. I actually care a lot about my clothes and what they say about me. It's just that I don't care about my appearance as much as I care about other things. Like coloring with my daughter. Or getting my son to smile at me just before he spits up on the last clean shirt I own.

So many moms will tell you how busy they are, and that they "just don't have time" to do certain things. I am about to let you in on a big mom secret: this is not true. They do have time.

Oh, it's not that they are liars, but what they mean is that they don't prioritize certain things. I could look just swell, and have a perfectly clean home - if I wanted to. (Okay, maybe the "clean home" part is a bit of a stretch, seeing as how I have a small tasmanian devil that follows my every footstep, flinging toys, food, shoes, clothing and anything else she can find in the wake of my cleaning up.)

Moms have many jobs, but the number one job of a SAHM is not to be a perfect housewife. She stays home so she can raise her children. If she wanted a perfect house, she'd ship her children off to boarding school so she could focus on the umpteen million other things that women have to do, like being a wife, cook, menu planner, house cleaner, laundry expert, personal shopper, and all the other things required to run a home. This is also why moms who work outside of the home frequently use every convenience they are able to afford, including eating out, housekeepers, dry cleaners and anything else that will save time. Because we all prioritize our children over the mundane daily tasks that steal our attention and require our time.

So, sometimes my clothes will be a little wrinkled. And you may find a stain peeking out from under my jacket. My nail polish may be chipped a little (okay, a lot), and I may not have any make-up on. But that's okay. Today, I saw my daughter flash a smile that would make the cover of Parenting magazine. My son thinks I'm beautiful no matter what I'm wearing. My husband, bless him, still finds me desirable. Today the sweet sound of laughter filled our living room when daddy was playing peek-a-boo with Gracie, and Mark got the giggles watching his sister run from one end of the room to the other. I read "Goodnight Moon" to my daughter, while she snuggled up as close as she could get and squealed with delight when she found the little mouse on each page.

In just a few short months, I will no longer have spit up on my clothing because my son will no longer be nursing.

In just a few short years, my clothes will no longer have jelly stains from chubby little fingers that couldn't wait to be cleaned before giving me a hug.

I know that all too soon I will be left with a closet full of clean, wrinkle-free clothes, and only the memories of my children clinging to me with affection.

So if you see me at the store, and when I turn to leave there is a white spot of spit up on my left shoulder, and a perfect little peanut butter handprint on my hind end, just smile and think, "There goes a mom."