Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Retailer Rant

A quick update: the Sunshine family has been house hunting, church helping, family visiting maniacs the past week. And we all got the flu. Yay family!

For the most part, the kids and I have recovered from a version of the 24 hour flu. Rob is still a little under the weather, but he's planning on returning to work tomorrow. With all this excitement in the house, I was getting a bit stir crazy. I needed some time to myself. Naturally, I went shopping.

Usually, I shop at Target - they have a pretty routine markdown schedule for their clearance items, and as we all know... a budget hound like me is a sucker for clearance items! Unfortunately, I ripped a pair of shorts at my last visit to Papa DeeDee's house and could no longer ignore the shortage of shorts in my closet. When Robert assured me he could handle two tyrants and a bout of the flu, I took off with nary a backward glance. Tonight was the night! One pair of jean shorts, coming up!

I had a coupon for Kohl's (saw that comin' didn't ya?) and they were having an end of season clearance sale, so off I went with high hopes. Kohl's has become the de facto replacement for Mervyn's. Remember Mervyn's??? (Sigh.) I like Kohl's very much, and have purchased quite a few items from them over the years. However, even if I weren't a ridiculously cheap frugal value conscious cheap shopper, even I know only crazy people pay $32 for a pair of children's shorts. (Uh, if you are one of those crazy people, please ignore that last sentence.)

As I wander the aisles, I begin to wonder if there are shoppers who really pay the full retail price, or if everyone knows to at least wait for a sale, percentage off coupon in the mail or coupon from the paper? And, if you don't wait for the coupons or sales, do you realize the mark up on these things? Even CNBC admitted it's a common practice to jack the prices sky high in order to discount them. Oops. My inner coupon nerd is showing.


So here I am, shopping the clearance racks for a decent pair of shorts. I see denim material and a tag that says "waist minimizing panel". Eureka! Dear Lord, can you please let this be in my size? I yank the garment from the rack, ignoring the size clearly printed at the top of the hanger.

Why in the world do stores bother to put the size of the clothing on the hanger, only to hang clothing on it that isn't remotely close to the size indicated? If they saved the money they spent on marking the hangers, maybe they wouldn't have to charge $32 for something I pay $4 for on clearance (and suspect they still clear a profit). Oops. My inner efficiency nerd is showing.

This is NOT what I found at Kohl's.
If I had, this post would have been
dramatically funnier.
Where were we? Oh yes, waist minimizing jean shorts in a size.... four. FOUR! Well gee Wally, don't you think every garment would be waist minimizing in a size four??? Goodness, if I could fit into a size four, I don't think "waist minimizing" is something I'd be too concerned about, would I? My superior logic tells me this is why it probably remains on the clearance rack. Honestly, do these clothing retailers get a chuckle at their own ridiculousness? Oops. My inner mom jeans are showing.

After an hour of searching, I failed to find a pair of denim shorts. I did find five t-shirts, one amazingly cute dress, and a pair of brown pedal pushers. None of which I needed. Also, I've found that clothes shopping after having had the flu makes you feel awfully good about how well your clothing size (which is not a size four, in case you were wondering) fits. All in all, a good night. And so, this quick update to let you know that despite my absence, we are not dead - just ill and in need of a good pair of waist minimizing jean shorts.

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